You Make Me Sick

Mr. President, You Got Caught Up in Henry Louis Gates' Mess

Dear President Obama,

This has been a busy week in Black America, hasn't it?

First your boy, Henry Louis Gates aka Skip, had a run-in with the Cambridge Police Department in Massachusetts.  Then CNN aired its second exploration of negrodian life with its Black in America 2 documentary.  Needless to say the program was met with a mixture of praise and contempt -- mostly the latter.

I am disappointed with some of the response to Black in America 2 but that's not the purpose of this note.  I am writing to share my thoughts on your response to Lynn Sweet's (Chicago Sun-Times) question about the significance of Skip's arrest and a little of my mother's advice.

I know, I know, you get unsolicited feedback from people all the time.  My goal is not to criticize but to encourage you to remain focused on the bigger picture -- economic recovery; education and health care reforms; Iraq and Afghanistan resolutions; and positive international relations. 

Mr. President, I wish that you would've told Lynn, and all Americans, that Skip's arrest was being handled and didn't require attention from the White House.   

You and I know that there's a chance that race ignited this fire.  If that's the case, it started with Lucia Whalen, Skip's neighbor, who struck the match when she called the police while watching Skip and his driver try to get into his home.

Let's give Lucia the benefit of the doubt and say that she had difficulty distinguishing one Black man from another and preferred to err on the side of caution rather than regret.  Or let's acknowledge the darker, no pun intended, reality that Lucia leveraged Skip's misfortune (being locked out of his home) as a passive-aggressive attempt to make known her race-laced displeasure with living near a Black man or an interracial couple.

We can speculate for days about Lucia's motives, Mr. President, but it would not be fruitful.  In addition, that is not the part of this saga that received a response from you.

I am not convinced that Sgt. James Crowley and his colleagues "acted stupidly" when they arrested Skip as you stated.  I think that they cuffed and charged Skip because he repeatedly popped off at the mouth.

Skip's good has likely outweighed his bad and he has done well as a tenured leader at Harvard and author and with his documentaries.  I can see how he may have forgotten that he is Black in America, 2, as well as the rules that govern a Black man's interaction with the police.  More than that, I believe that Skip's self-perception and inflated ego may have caused him to be uncooperative.  Skip had a "do you know who I am" moment that he has turned into a racial incident. 

That's why I wish that your response to Lynn would've been different. 

Now you are in the unfortunate position of being tangled up in Cambridge-gate and having to smooth over ruffled feathers among the boys in blue.  This at a time when your attention needs to be on matters that are more important than Skip's ego.

So, here are the words of wisdom that my mother shared with me and now I share with you:

1) Be still and find out what's going on before you jump into things

2) You can't comment on everything; sometimes you have to keep your opinions to yourself

I am sure that this will be water under the bridge soon for you and, please, don't worry about Skip.  Farai Chideya, author and newswoman extraordinaire, best summed up his fate in a recent tweet.  She said that there will be a gold (not a silver) lining in all of this for Skip.  

Let's take bets on if this will yield a new book or documentary.  If it's a documentary, do you think CNN will air it?  And will Black America give it a chance?

Hope for Black Love Restored at CNN Black in America 2 Preview

I have been concerned, scared and hopeless about the state of Black love. Not quite the appropriate emotions to carry as a Christian who is called to be carefree, courageous and hopeful.

The numbers about Black love tell a sober and somber story. Forty-five (45) percent of Black women in the U.S. have never been married. When compared to Whites, Hispanics and Asians, Black women are least likely to get married.

Sixty (60) percent of Black homes were headed by married couples in the early 1960s; today, the number has dropped to less than 30 percent. As if that was not enough, Blacks have higher divorce rates than Whites, Hispanics and Asians.

This ain't good for me and my single friends. So, earlier this year, I tried to do something within my sphere of influence to improve the odds. 

I hosted a co-ed discussion about Black love with a focus on what makes men tick. The goal was to  have everyone, especially the women, read Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," and to have the men in the room expound upon the themes of the book.

In my mind, Black men and women need to get over, under, around or through the impasse that exists. And a couple of hours together would be the beginning of better understanding and the start of productive, enjoyable dates and courtships for everyone.

Things did not turn out the way that I planned.

Some of the blame is with me. I could have done a better job of setting up the conversation and desired outcome. But more than anything, my evening of empowerment, reconciliation and hope turned into a night of provocative and pointless comments and a contest to see who wore Magnum XLs.

My guests do not know this, well, maybe some do, but I checked out mentally and emotionally that night. I turned my attention away from wanting people to be more likeable to pouring drinks and pushing finger food. I ended my night by getting in the bed and crying big ol' tears of embarrassment, frustration and disappointment.

Since that evening, my discontent has grown and began to come out in ways that have not served me well. Thankfully, two days ago, I carried my dissatisfaction with Black love, in general, and my love life, specifically, to a preview screening of CNN's Black in America 2 and left it in the theater. I found hope in the story of James and Tina Barnes and the Wedded Bliss Foundation.

The WBF is based in Washington, DC and was formed by Nisa Muhammad who currently serves as its executive director. Nisa's mission is to bring resources, support and direction to the Black community so that happy marriages are the rule and not the exception.

One of the resources featured in Black in America 2 is the WBF's Basic Training for Couples. This is an 8-week program that teaches the skills needed to have healthy relationships and marriages. The training was developed by Nisa and Dr. Rozario Slack and focuses on the importance of marriage, "sweetness of surrender," productive communication skills and positive conflict resolution. There is also a Basic series for singles, women and men.

This is it, people. Black men and women can have loving, healthy partnerships because someone saw the need for positive relationship modeling and marriage instruction and acted!

I am not going to give away the details of James and Tina's story. You and I will have to watch Black in America 2 on July 22 and 23 at 8 p.m. eastern/7 p.m. central to find out if the WBF was able to help the couple.  In addition, CNN has prepared a study guide that you can use to facilitate conversations around all aspects of the documentary; visit www.cnn.com/specials/2009/black.in.america to access.

This blog is about solutions and I have, with encouragement from the WBF, accepted responsibility for supporting a paradigm shift with regard to Black love. 

The WBF spearheads Black Marriage Day, which is an annual event designed to celebrate black marriage and help children, teens and adults understand why marriage matters.  The next Black Marriage Day will be held on March 28, 2010, and I am going to respond to the WBF's call to action by organizing a workshop or celebration in my city.

What are you going to do?

NAACP: Relevant or Obsolete?

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) is halfway through its annual conferenceand 100th anniversary.

Did you know that Illinois, my home state, was instrumental in the formation of the NAACP?  Yep, the Springfield Race Riot of 1908 was the catalyst for the establishment of the civil and social justice organization. 

100 years is a long time to be in existence...and remain relevant.  The NAACP has struggled with the latter and appears to be trying to turn things around with the appointment of Ben Jealous as its president and CEO.  But is it too late?

Erroll Louis of the New York Daily News doesn't think so.  Read his column, "Follow This Man: As NAACP Turns 100, Its New Leader Benjamin Todd Jealous Knows Where to March, to learn why he just spent $750 on a lifetime membership.

So, what do you think...

• Is the NAACP still relevant?
• Is the national body with local chapters model obsolete?
• How do you believe or envision civil rights, social justice and equality issues being tackled going forward?
• In what ways are you addressing civil rights, social justice and equality issues (use this as an opportunity to build awareness for your cause or organization)?

Perspectives on Michael Jackson

Hello, conversationalists.

It may sound cliche but it is an undeniable truth that Michael Jackson provided the soundtrack of our lives.  I remember my mother playing "Enjoy Yourself," "Good Times" and "Dreamer" when I was a child and the day that my father came home with the "Off the Wall" album -- the greatest, in my opinion, Michael Jackson album of all time. 

I considered those songs and albums heirlooms.  Today, I learned that the original, scratched-up albums are gone and I weep because it feels like markers of different stages of my life are gone with them. 

Below are two guest commentaries about Michael Jackson and his impact on two generations: Gen X and Millennials.  Both authors are dear to me and immediately felt the enormity of Michael Jackson's death in ways that didn't hit me until today.  

I hope that you enjoy their words and I invite you to share your thoughts about the king of pop.

 

MILLENNIAL PERSPECTIVE

Michael Jackson and his Music are Like Love

By Bediah Bell

After having been baptized in my tears for days, I have finally gathered myself enough to speak coherently about the man, the legend who has been an inspiration to me.

Finding words to describe the way that Michael Jackson and his music make me feel is like trying to explain how you felt the first time you experienced love.  Since everyone is not as big a Michael Jackson fan as I am, I will use love, a feeling or emotion to which most of us can relate, to express my thoughts.  

Everyone has done, said or felt something they never thought they would when in love. Things may surface that are uncharacteristic of who you are. Michael Jackson has made me do some things that I would say are uncharacteristic of me.

I have found myself in my living room, by my lonesome, blasting his album HIStory: Past, Present, and Future, dancing around like a fool, falling to my knees singing “Earth Song,” having an out of body experience.   This is not common considering that I do not get excited about a whole lot of things; but love can make you act abnormal.

Love is selfless.  Listening to “We Are the World” or “Heal the World,” Michael Jackson made me care about people and world issues. 

The undeniable greatness of Michael Jackson’s talent has rendered me vulnerable and taken me through emotional rides, from feel good songs like “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)” to cries of frustration in “Leave Me Alone.” 

If it is not obvious that I LOVE the late, great Michael Jackson then you do not know what it feels like to love.  Michael Jackson was the personification of love and his music will live on forever to be an eternal reminder of God’s love for us and our purpose to serve a greater good.

Michael Jackson is the greatest entertainer of all time and I am grateful to have enjoyed his work while he was with us.

I love you, Mike.  May God rest your soul.

Black Power!

 

 

 

 

 

GENERATION X PERSPECTIVE

Michael Jackson: Pop Deity? Musical Demigod?

By Dell Jackson

 

Still, as I write this, several days after his passing and on the eve of his public memorial service, it all seems so surreal.  On that regrettable Thursday in June, and the days that followed, the feelings that  overcame me ran the gamut.  I felt numb.  I was in disbelief.  I experienced grief. 

 

Losing Michael Jackson is akin to losing family for me.  After all, he literally created the soundtrack to my life.  Michael's music was the one friend that had always been there.  I celebrated highs with his music.  I danced away angst to his music.  And I sought comfort in his music.  This mix of emotion is ironically befitting of Michael Jackson and his life.

 

Dichotomy and Michael Jackson are indeed synonymous and he seemed to revel in contradiction.  Often described as a "man-child," Michael bended gender, transitioned from a skin tone of brown to vitiligo white and exhibited both angelic and, reportedly, nefarious qualities.  Michael Jackson cannot be examined without acknowledging his seemingly innate ability to be a self-contained disparity.  In fact, he seemed to contrast himself so much that his contradictions would eventually fuse like osmosis, creating a hybrid existence. 

 

Michael Jackson's generosity, philanthropy, child-like innocence, mass adulation from international audiences, and beautifully composed anthems clearly demonstrate that his talents were God given and he was here to do the Creator's work.  Like every person who walks this earth, Michael was far from being one dimensional. 

 

Surely questions will continue to swirl about the cause of his tragic and untimely demise, his "gepetto-crafted physical appearance or his relationship with and affinity for children.  In my estimation, Michael Jackson's gift (artistry, talent, love) supersedes everything.  What Michael Jackson brought to the WORLD trumps all else.  Why?  Because it is all fact.  Documented.  Recorded.  Real.  

 

There is no denying how Michael Jackson impacted American culture; eventually transcending into a global icon that touched tens of millions of lives.  The moment that you pit Michael Jackson's artistry and humanity against speculation, innuendo, rumor and unproven, unsubstantiated claims, the latter pales in comparison.  In fact, there is no comparison.

 

Michael Jackson IS the King of Pop, Rock and Soul (as originally bestowed upon him at the 1989 Soul Train Music Awards) but even that is somewhat limiting.  Michael Jackson IS pop culture royalty.  He IS a pop deity.  And, yes, he IS a musical demigod. 

 

His abbreviated discography and worldwide sales include: Got To Be There (1971) – 4,112,879; Ben (1972) – 4,401,605; Music and Me (1973) – 1,980,440; Forever, Michael (1975) – 1,687,234; Off The Wall (1979) – 20,000,000; Thriller (1982) – 65,000,000; Bad (1987) – 33,000,000; Dangerous (1991) – 30,000,000; HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book l (1995) – 22,000,000 (44 million units); Blood on the Dance Floor: HIStory in the Mix (1997) – 8,000,000; Invincible (2001) – 12,000,000; Greatest Hits HIStory Volume 1 (2001) – 3,000,000; Number Ones (2003) – 7,000,000; Michael Jackson: The Ultimate Collection (2004) – 500,000; The Essential Michael Jackson (2005) – 2,500,000; Visionary: The Video Singles (2006) – 500,000; and Thriller: 25th Anniversary (2008) – 3,000,000.

 

He stands alone and is comparable to none.