You Make Me Sick

How Was Your Father's Day?

UPDATE (10:15 a.m.):  Last night I shared this post with my friend before uploading and was stunned by his response – “it is positive.”  I can see his point.  He knows that I have not spoken with my father in nearly two years; at first because I did not want to and now because I have not created an opportunity.  My thoughts and feelings about Father’s Day are focused on the positive because anger, bitterness and resentment were not good for my emotional, mental, spiritual or physical health.  I needed to change my diet!  I don’t want to discount anyone’s feelings or experience and welcome your good, bad and ugly comments.  YOU MAKE ME SICK is a place of healing and I implore you to do whatever you feel necessary to get well.  My choice is to feast on a diet of joy, understanding and forgiveness.  I hope that my friend will, too. 

 

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I had a conversation with a friend last week about doing a Father’s Day post.  We decided that it would be interesting to check in with and get feedback from people the day after homage is paid to DNA contributors, sacrifice makers and surrogate fathers.

 

Two things come to mind – solutions and healing – when I think about YOU MAKE ME SICK and that is how I approached Father’s Day.  My focus was on forgiveness.

 

I know that my father did the best that he could on some fronts and I will acknowledge that he could have done things better or differently on others.  My adult eyes can see that he did not fully understand that fathers are a reflection of God’s love, strength and leadership because he likely did not have that kind of modeling in his life. 

 

I refused to beat him up for what he was not exposed to, be bitter about what he was unable to express or give shout outs to my mother because Father’s Day is not about her.  Instead, I chose to focus on the good times that I had with my father:

 

1. Learning how to play Old Maid, Go Fish, Gin Rummy, War and Spades.  He tried to teach me Bid Whist but I kept thinking I was playing Spades.

 

2. Experiencing his protection when we walked down the street with his insistence that I walk closest to the buildings.  And his coming to my defense when Daryl Thompson smacked me for not giving him some of my 7-Up.  Take that, punk!

 

3. Going to the movies at Water Tower Place and Great America.  I hated the roller coasters but loved the popcorn, soft pretzels and ICEEs.

 

4. Watching him fix ANYTHING that needed repairing.  If these 2009 men only knew! 

 

5. Trekking to the pet store and getting fish for the tank (because my mother wouldn’t let us have any other pet) and chasing after the renegade tadpoles during a tank cleaning.

 

6. Introducing a new album or artist into the music mix that filled our home.

 

7. Getting my way because he didn’t want me upset with him.  Hey, what girl doesn’t work her daughter magic?! 

 

So what went through your mind on Father's Day -- as a son, daughter, father, mother or conscientious observer?

 

After looking back on the day, what do you plan to do differently with your father or in your role as a father figure?

Oakland Beauty Salon Beatdown: WTF is up with people?

Have you seen the video of the Oakland-based hairstylist getting the beat down of the decade?

I’m sure you have.  But on the chance that you don’t have any friends or family who care about you enough to include you on their forwards and e-mail chains, check out the video here:

 

 

 

In the spirit of YOU MAKE ME SICK, here’s why, after watching this video, I have a little vomit in my mouth:

I’M PREGNANT.  After the smack upside the head, three punches to the face, body toss, choking, six blows to the head, and improper removal of hair weave, the woman getting the beating yelled, “I’m pregnant.”  We all know that her motive was to slow things down or stop them all together, but relief never came.  No pause from her attacker or the people in the salon on the chance that she might be pregnant.  That’s an ugly commentary about the value placed on human life. 

YOUTUBE CELEBRITIES AND WANNABE FILMMAKERS.  Who is the fool holding the camera?  And yelling, “One at a time?”  Don’t they know that they are involved in a criminal act?  I don’t know the penal code, so I can’t list the crime here, but surely criminal charges are coming.  Where you at Oakland PD?

EXPLAIN REASON FOR BEAT DOWN.  I think that whippings are better tolerated when people know why they’re being “reprimanded.”  My mother used to smack me in my mouth all the time when I was growing up and she would explain the reason:  “I told you not to…” or “Who do you think you’re talking to…”  The stylist kept asking for an explanation and didn’t receive one until she had been beaten for more than five minutes and the fight moved next door.  Hearing the stylist repeatedly ask why was unsettling.

SPEAKING OF NEXT DOOR.  Too often I hear men say they don’t break up fights.  I can get behind some of the reasons but, I cannot lie, it bothers me when men don’t help women.  I can only guess at what was up with the burly brother at the shop next door.  Maybe he believes that women’s rights give women the right to degrade, humiliate and violate each other.  Here’s a tip for the men: It is never okay to watch two women brawl in the street.  Need a reason to come to the aid of a woman?  How about you came from a woman and, therefore, you honor women by helping women.    

SISTERS YOU ARE NOT OFF THE HOOK.  You disrupted someone’s business and negatively impacted their livelihood.  You videotaped the degradation and humiliation of a woman.  You held another woman hostage (when you blocked the door) so that she could be savagely beaten by another woman.  You further took the sting out of being called a bitch with your bitch-laced tirade.  You let the world know that you’re an ignorant, loud, foul-mouthed, and foolish thug and that you are okay with being that way.  What is going on with girls and women?  Where is the honor and self-respect?  Is the sisterhood salvageable?

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Did this video MAKE YOU SICK?  If so, why? 

What are you doing or can you do within your sphere of influence to make sure that we don’t see another video like this again?

Welcome to YOU MAKE ME SICK!

 

I have been talking about blogging for a long time. Hours, days, months, and maybe even years have been spent identifying a focal point and I am happy to have landed on YOU MAKE ME SICK.

 

This is a conversation portal that is focused on health, fitness, lifestyle and medical topics with a specific interest in the Black community.  In addition, YOU MAKE ME SICK is a place where we can ruminate about the cultural, political and social influences that impact the vitality and vibrancy of our lives.

 

Can we agree that talking is not enough?

 

The goal of YOU MAKE ME SICK is to be solution-oriented.  I am confident that we can, together, prevent, diagnose, treat and cure all that ails.  I know that sounds ambitious, but we're going to do it our way and within our circle of influence.

 

So, I invite you to share ideas and join the conversation.  The only requirement is that you don't make me sick with stupid comments or suggestions.